Revolution
by lelalemon
Summary: Shuichi, a heroin addict, finds love in his dealer, Eiri. Yaoi, drug use, violence, probably death, uhm. Other things. Lemon, yaoi. Awesome stuff.
1. Alley

I do not own Gravitation. I just enjoy it very much.

* * *

Shuichi sits in an alley. An old, slightly soggy, shredded cardboard box cushions the ground. His clothes are old, wet, and dirty. His shoes are scuffed; the soles beginning to break apart. His jeans are a size too large. The knees are caked with filth. His shirt, probably the cleanest item of clothing he possesses, is black with a Nettle Grasper logo on it. There are a few tears, but nothing you wouldn't expect from a shirt that is nine years old. His jacket is black and warm. There are patches of blood, vomit, and dirt clearly visible. His skin and hair are dirty, and slightly greasy. He has a baby face, amazingly clear of blemishes. His shoulder length hair is bright pink. He can't remember if it was natural or not. His fingernails are long, and like his teeth, oddly clean. His wide, innocent-yet-experienced eyes are a deep, beautiful violet.

He slowly strips himself of his jacket. Goosebumps instantly dace across his skin as the cold night breeze whispers hushes to his exposed skin. He ties a thin rubber hose around the top of his arm tightly. He is tired, hungry, and somewhat out of it. His hands are shaking. He raises the needle up and finds a vain. He had worked so hard for this. He was broke, obviously. He has no family, no friends, no job and no home. Nothing. He had went to the man he'd sold his soul to. His dealer. Tohma Seguchi. Tohma had always been fond of Shuichi. When Shuichi had first come to him and was just experimenting, Tohma Knew. He just waited silently for the boy to lose it all. When that finally happened Shuichi had come to the man. He still held to his ounce of pride; his small shred of dignity. The only thing more exciting to Tohma than knowing he could control this cute little virgin was knowing that he could rip his entire being to pieces.

"Please, I… I can pay you back." Shuichi had asked quietly.

Tohma smiled his fox grin. "You can pay me back now." He said, loving every word.

"But I don't have any money!" The naïve young thing whined.

"No matter," Tohma said as he walked smoothly in front of Shuichi. "There's another way."

His sly, velvety words captured Shuichi and bound him tight.

"Give it to me first." Shuichi said nervously.

Tohma dangled the bag of heroin in front of Shuichi's eyes. Shuichi quickly grabbed it and Tohma smiled. Shuichi then took a deep breath and looked into Tohma's eyes. His confusion was clearly evident.

"On your knees, Shuichi." Tohma said instructionally.

Shuichi nodded and slowly dropped to his knees. The faint sound of Tohma's belt being undone, then his pants unzipped could be heard.

Tohma pulled his already erect member out hissed slightly at the touch.

Shuichi looked up at Tohma uneasily. "How… how do I?" Shuichi stammered out embarrassedly. His face was red. His eyes were scared.

"Take it into your mouth and suck." Tohma said coolly. He was patient with the boy he'd waited so long for.

Shuichi slowly opened his mouth and slowly took as much of Tohma as he could into his mouth. He began to suck and move his tongue. Tohma moaned and grabbed his pink locks.

* * *

Ever since then, sex was what Shuichi paid for his drugs. He'd been long since desensitized from his early virginal years.

That had been over a year ago. Shuichi pushes the plunger in and pulls the needle out. He's never been fond of needles. He pulls the tubing off and pulls his coat back on as he began shivering. It was freezing outside. It hadn't yet reached below zero, but he knew that it soon would.

He could probably go to Tohma's place and ask to stay, but that would mean sex and Shuichi's sex drive was non-existent due to the heroin. He lies on his side and curls up. He stares at the gravel next to his face for a few hours before falling asleep.

He's tried to quit, of course. Not many people enjoy being homeless drug-addicted prostitutes. It hadn't worked. It was like being a slave who was married to his master. He hadn't had family before this. Typical broken-home; alcoholic parents, gay-hating family, abusive. He had had only a few friends. Most had left him during his addiction. The only loyal one, Hiro Nakano, had been abandoned by Shuichi. Shuichi just couldn't stand to plague the person he loved the most in the world. To disappoint him everyday. It was for Hiro's own good, Shuichi had said. All he had now was Tohma and heroin. He didn't want anything more and he didn't think of anything more.

In the morning he opens his eyes and smiles. It's something he's done for the last year and a half. Every night was a chance for his life to cease, so every morning was a mini-celebration for him.

* * *

"Shuichi?" A soft voice called.

Shuichi looks up and sees a beautiful blond man looking down at him.

Shuichi has never seen this man before. Oh, he would defiantly remember.

The man was wearing a scowl. He has beautiful blond hair that was cut short, but was still free flowing. His eyes are fierce and golden yellow. Looking into them made Shuichi feel like he'd somehow let the man down. He's thin, but healthy. He's tall; far taller than our five foot tall Shuichi. He stood probably at six' two, six' three. He has on black slacks, a red button up shirt that was undone at the top, and a leather jacket. He has sunglasses in his pocket.

"Can I… I h, help y, you?" Shuichi asks, his teeth chattering in the cold.

"Tohma Seguchi sent me to retrieve you." The man says softly and unemotionally.

Shuichi nods and gets up off of his cardboard mansion. He wraps his arms around his shivering body and begins to walk ahead of the man. The blond man drapes his leather jacket over Shuichi's shoulders and watches as Shuichi soon stops shivering.

They rode in the man's car silently. Thy finally reached Tohma's subtle home and walked in without knocking.

"Shuichi, how wonderful it is to see you. Have a seat." Tohma says smiling as he ushers the young man to his couch. Shuichi sits down and looks at the blond beauty that was simply standing in the doorway.

"Shuichi, I'm moving away from here." Tohma says calmly.

Shuichi's eyes widen like a frightened deer. "What?" He asks panicked.

Tohma shushes the cute little thing.

"You will be taken care of. Eiri here will be your dealer." Tohma says smiling at the blond beauty.

"He knows the way we do things, and has no qualms about dealing to you the same way I have."

Shuichi nods his head to Tohma sadly.

"Will you miss me?" Shuichi asks sadly, near tears.

Tohma frowns slightly. "Yes."

Shuichi gets up with his head down and begins to leave. "You're all I have, Tohma. Please don't forget me."

With that the man walks out of Tohma's house and lets his tears fall.

* * *

Well, is it alright? I'll write some more this weekend and probably while I'm in class on Monday. Review please. I makes me happy and gives me more inspiration to write, post, and do lewd-violent things to the characters.


	2. Eiri

That took forever. Freaking crap captain. Anyways, this is more detailed on the drug shiz, so year. There's also kind of sex, and violence. Nice thing, I know. Enjoy.

(Does not own)

Also, to be added to the "does not own" list. There are two songs used, in italics. The first is "Prostitution is the world's oldest profession, and I, dear Madame, am a professional" by Cobra Starship (thanks 'Manda); and the other is "Demon" by London After Midnight.

* * *

He walks back to his cardboard house, having left the blond man's jacket on the couch. The last thing he needed was to be punished.

Tohma could be a very patient man, but if you made him mad, he knew how to make you hurt. All in all, he'd never been fond of Tohma.

He had what Shuichi needed, but he didn't care for him as a person.

Tohma was the first man he'd ever had sex with. He was the first person in general; the same for kissing, sleeping next to, and showering with. All the things that lovers were meant to do.

He was told By Tohma, that only lovers kiss. It was dirty and wrong to kiss someone you didn't love, and that's why he _required _Shuichi to kiss all the men who used him.

Shuichi didn't care anymore. As long as he had his drug, what did it matter what a stranger did to him? Should he be happy?

Not only does it show him that men will still use him and find him attractive, it's not like he can remember it, and most of the time he's too drugged up to even put himself in the moment. And any man was better than Tohma Seguchi. The look in that mans eyes physically hurt.

At first he had been adamant on the use of protection, but now, it just didn't matter.

He was going to die one of three ways: in the cold, while on a momentary high, die from the drugs, while high, or die from an STD from sex he had for drugs.

He chuckles darkly and lays his head down. He was really fucking tired, but sleep never wanted to grace him. He closed his eyes slowly and rolled onto his back. It had started to rain, but he couldn't remember when.

He tried counting all the raindrops that he felt hit him, entirely too amused with the situation.

He wakes not too many hours after falling asleep. He slowly drags himself to Tohma's house. He knocks on the door, twice, then once.

"Shuichi, how nice to see you. Did you come to wish me a goodbye?" Shuichi scratches at his arm. His blood was even protesting the lack of drug within him.

"I need some." Tohma walks into a different room in the house and Shuichi stands by the door. Tohma's house is always too fucking cold. Tohma comes back in with a bag; Eiri is trailing behind him.

"Shuichi, sit." Shuichi slowly sits down on the far end of the couch, away from Tohma and Eiri. "I'd prefer it if you stayed here, with Eiri. You're my favorite. I had so much fun breaking you, and I don't want to lose you to something as silly as winter weather." Tohma chuckles.

Shuichi continues to watch the blonde man. Tohma hands him the bag, and Shuichi nods his approval. "Here, or in the bedroom?" Shuichi asks nonchalantly. To be honest, that Eiri guy was intimidating. "Bedroom, certainly." Tohma responds.

Shuichi looks at the bag. "Tohma, I need more than this. This is as much as you gave me when I started." Tohma smiles callously. "I don't think that's a good idea." He ushers Shuichi into his room. The blond and Shuichi catches eyes on the way, but neither do a thing.

Tohma undresses himself and his young companion. He begins kissing him, and Shuichi responds, but it's forced. Tohma gets off the bed and Shuichi spreads his legs out for Tohma. He grabs a condom, because you could never be too careful with these whores, and plunges deep into Shuichi.

Shuichi grunts in protest, the member inside him stretching him quite suddenly and painfully. After a few slow thrusts Tohma speeds up and holds Shuichi close to him. It ends eventually and Shuichi lies on his back gasping for the air that he hadn't been able to catch.

"Tohma, please, I really need more." Shuichi pants out.

"I'll leave that up to Eiri, seeing as how you'll be his dog from now on." Shuichi nods. It was better than a flat out no. Tohma gets up and starts dressing.

"I'm leaving now. I'll come by and see how things are going sometime soon." Shuichi gets up and wraps the sheet around his self. He walks out with Tohma and watches him bid Eiri a farewell before getting into his car and leaving. Eiri looks at Shuichi and looks away.

"Why don't you get dressed? We have things to talk about." Shuichi just sits down. "Tohma said that if I wanted more, I had to convince you. I can't just make due with that. It's not enough."

Eiri shrugs. "I don't care."

Shuichi stands up and starts yelling. "Do you even have any idea of what this is like? Just seven hours, that's all it's been, and I'm already feeling withdrawals! Why don't you just give me some god damn aspirin and call it good? It's essentially the same thing!"

Eiri stays calm. "I said I didn't care."

Shuichi blinks and sits back down. "What exactly do you want as payment?"

Eiri shrugs. "I don't care."

Shuichi snorts distastefully. "Can you say anything but 'I don't care"?

Eiri looks at him. "Yep."

Shuichi gives an exasperated sigh before he gets up to get dressed. "How about a kiss?" Shuichi asks, not trying to be flirty or romantic. He was just exhausted.

"How about you just stay out of my hair and be silent?" Eiri asks as he gives Shuichi his bag, which was filled a bit higher.

"Deal. Where do you want me to stay?" Shuichi asks. His body is trembling.

"I don't. Tohma does." Eiri replies back apathetically.

"Please, just tell me, I would like to hurry." Shuichi is nearly begging.

Eiri gets up and Shuichi follows. He takes him to a room he's never seen before. "The shower is in there."

Shuichi nods and Eiri walks away as he enters the room and closes the door.

Shuichi sits on the bed, but find it to be too soft. He sits on the floor and smiles, it felt just like home.

He pulls a soon and a lighter out of his pocket. He gets up and moves to the bathroom.

He pours the white powder onto the old spoon and then adds water to dissolve it. He holds the lighter under the spoon and heats it up. He chuckles sardonically about how scientific he finds the whole process.

After stirring it around a bit with a toothpick he throws the toothpick into the sink and puts the spoon on the counter beside his lighter. He carefully puts the needle's head into the mixture and fills the syringe with his liquid heaven.

He walks back to his spot on the floor and sets the needle onto the bed.

He then pulls loose the ribbon bracelet from his wrist and ties it around his arm above his elbow.

He grabs the needle and after a series of frustrating attempts, he gets it into a vein.

His hand shakes as he pushes the plunger down. He feels a rush of calm wash over him by simply knowing what was next.

He pulls the needle out and lays back, onto the floor and stares up at the ceiling. He pulls the ribbon off.

Everything feels so calm. Everything is perfect again.

He feels his heart beating. It's working. A rush, greater than life and orgasm.

Jesus Christ! Shuichi writhes wantonly. The ceiling battles with his eyes as he breathes out a sigh.

Calm again, but steadily rising.

His body feels hot as his heart pumps. The rush tingles through his body again, and then calm.

He closes his eyes and rolls his head. So much calm that he can barely contain it.

He rides the rush with bliss.

Nothing else matters- Not the dull ache of hunger; not the cold his body feels.

His heart is beating like a drum in his ears. Fast, unsteady.

His blood playing like a guitar. Finely-tuned and screeching out a melody.

The heroin in his blood singing… singing.

And this is how Eiri finds his hours later. He's drooling slightly and bleeding from his arm. His heartbeat is slow and his breathing is shallow.

Eiri grimaces and finds the kid a band aid.

When Shuichi wakes, he feels confused. He isn't sure where he is.

He walks out of the room and into the living room. He is in Tohma's house, and that scary blond is staring at him from the couch.

"I've been waiting." Eiri says calmly.

Shuichi sits on the couch and looks down. Eiri leaves momentarily and comes back into the room and hands Shuichi a baggie.

Shuichi responds by setting it on the couch, sliding down to his knees and reaching for Eiri's belt.

Eiri steps away and walks into the kitchen to grab a beer, then comes back and sits on the couch.

"Tohma left me instructions that I'm to convey to you." Eiri says, sipping his beer.

Shuichi doesn't know if he should get off his knees and sit on the couch, or not. He goes with the latter and continues to look up at Eiri with his helpless eyes.

"Apparently, no matter what, I'm to supply you, but don't get any cocky ideas. If you don't behave and obey, I'm going to kick you out and refuse you." Shuichi nods.

"Don't make any fucking messes, clean up, don't answer the door- ever, and if I catch you stealing anything, I'll kill you." Shuichi nods. He isn't a thief, so he isn't worried.

The second part of Shuichi's horrid excuse for an existence begins again.

Eiri isn't going to feed him, and Tohma never had. Sex always got him enough money for the little things that he needed.

Shuichi had a routine from when he was there with Tohma. He always brought his johns to Tohma's house.

He doesn't lock the bathroom door. Hell, he doesn't even shut it. And he knows better than to shoot up before a job.

Shuichi steps out of the shower all shaved and clean and nice smelling. Eiri walks past, stops, back steps and stares at Shuichi as he bends to apply lotion to his legs.

He's still naked and dripping wet. His back is turned to Eiri. He is singing.

_Do you know who I am? Good, neither do I. I've got nothing to say, no, I've got nothing to say. But if you pay me, I can play the fool. _

Shuichi stands straight and begins to sway his hips.

_Go on believe if it turns you on. Take what you need until your body's numb. Prostitution is revolution. You can hate me, after you pay me. My submission is your addiction, so just get out while you can._

He bends back over to lotion his other leg.

_Do you remember when the only thing that mattered was taking time for the things you loved? But now, you've got to humor all these fools. _

He stands again and shakes his ass while he wipes his arms off.

_Go on believe if it turns you on. Take what you need until your body's numb. Prostitution is revolution. You can hate me, after you pay me. My submission is your addiction, so just get out while you can. And if you need me, I'm your man. But you don't wanna see me mad. Oh no, we don't care. You're a pro and it's no surprise. Oh no, we don't care. _

He moves sensually.

_Go on believe if it turns you on. Take what you need until your body's numb. Prostitution is revolution. You can hate me, after you pay me. My submission is your addiction, so just get out while you can. _

He turns around, eyes closed, ending the song. He opens his eyes and looks at Eiri. He's mortified and blushing.

"Did you make that song up?" Eiri asks.

"Yeah… It helps me feel better about being a whore." Shuichi blushes more and looks away. "Tohma used to like it when I sang."

Eiri can't stop himself. He grabs Shuichi at the hips and just moved his fingers softly around the boy's chest and tummy and thighs. He just wanted to feel the skin. To feel Shuichi.

Shuichi says nothing to Eiri. He doesn't show any sort of emotion, and just allows Eiri to do as he pleases. After another moment Eiri turns around and leaves.

Shuichi thinks back to the time before he and Tohma had had sex. He remembers the first thing Tohma said to him.

"I guess it's a good thing to know. If you ever anger me, I'll just rape you."

Shuichi stopped smiling. "I'm not the kind to disobey."

Shuichi shivers and walks into his room to dress.

Eiri listens on. He isn't sure why he was angry and disgusted at the man's moaning.

Yuki walks into Shuichi's room after the man leaves.

He is on his bed. His eyes are closed, his hair and face are messy, and he is naked. His cheeks are slightly bruised and red.

Eiri sits on Shuichi's bed.

"You still have it… on your face." Eiri says.

Shuichi wipes his face, but misses most of it.

"How did you get caught up with Tohma?" Eiri asks softly, running his hand through the boy's hair.

"I was an angel, and he ripped out my wings and laughed at me. And then, I turned into this." Shuichi then closes his eyes again. "Will you shoot me up? I'm too tired…"

Eiri gets everything together.

"Ready?" Eiri asks, quite nervously. After a nod from Shuichi he pushes the needle into Shuichi's creamy white skin, and then pulls it out.

"Were you really an angel?" Eiri asks for some reason.

"No, but he still ripped out my wings."

Eiri cleans the boy up and leaves him to rest.

Eiri wakes Shu to the smell of breakfast.

"Hey, I made food." Eiri says.

Shuichi shakes his head. "Heroin is my sustenance." He says sleepily.

"That was an order" Eiri says with a threatening voice.

Shuichi smirks. "Could you help me sit up? I'm really sore all over."

Eiri helps him up. "Why are you sore?" Eiri asks.

"He was rough." Shuichi replies, very blasé.

"How old are you?" Eiri asks out of nowhere.

Shuichi shakes his head in amusement and a mock of insult. "You never ask weigh or age, Eiri-san." And he smiles.

Eiri grits his teeth. "Where are your parents?"

"Dead." No emotion, no nothing.

"What about friends?" Eiri asks, sounding somewhat desperate.

"I had one, but I left him so that I couldn't ever hurt him again. It was for his own good."

The voice in Eiri's head was screaming "Hug him!" Eiri doesn't though. He puts his hand on Shuichi's and they sit silently for a while.

"Eiri, stop staring." Shu scolds playfully, somehow aware of Eiri's presence in the room as he's toweling off.

"Aren't you going to sing for me?" Eiri asks.

Shuichi begins to move and sing sensually.

"_velvet touch your mouth on mine…" _He runs his fingers on his lips.

"_drunk on lust like drunk on wine…" _He the hand runs down his face, his neck, to his chest.

"_the world will end we'll hear the thunder roll…" _He trembles, feeling cold suddenly.

Eiri grabs his wrists above his head, leans down, and kisses him.

"Mnn." Shuichi responds and kisses back slightly.

Eiri runs a hand down, still holding the boys wrists tightly to the wall.

Eiri then pushes a single finger into the boy. Shuichi moans and wriggles against the intrusion. Eiri adds two more fingers and makes the boy scream. He pulls them out and lines his cock up with Shuichi's opening.

"Eiri, no. No, I can't." Shuichi says, the drugs in his system making him feel hot and closed in.

Eiri doesn't listen and pushes in. Shuichi begins to flail around and Eiri eventually drops him to the ground.

"What the fuck if your problem?" Eiri yells.

"I don't feel good" Shuichi yells back through his tears.

"Who is ever going to live a dirty little slut like you? Just shut the fuck up!" Eiri screams.

Shuichi's eyes grow wide and filled with tears. He gets up, still naked, pulls Eiri's trench coat on and runs out the door.

He runs right into a man who was about to knock on the door.

"I'm here for my, uhm. Date…" The man says. Shuichi is still crying.

The man smiles at him. "Come on, back inside. I'll comfort you."

He brings Shuichi inside and they make their way to Shuichi's room, both well aware of the glare Eiri is sending them.

The man holds Shuichi and rubs his back.

"Hush hush now, little angel."

Thanks. As always, please review. *heart*


	3. Reunited and it feels like hell

Sorry I haven't updated in such a long time! I had stuff written out but I just didn't get it online until now, which is pretty late. I have a four year old beside me saying "Are you done now? Now now now now now now now…" because she wants me to fill up her swimming pool. Please leave reviews and tell me what you think and stuff. Loves.

* * *

Shuichi leads the man to his bedroom, completely aware of the angry stare Eiri is giving the both of them. He wipes his eyes and looks at the man. He looks like a hungry old wolf about to eat a lamb.

He sits in the bed and looks down. He isn't in the mood for this. He doesn't want this. He doesn't want Eiri to be mad at him even more. The man unzips his pants and steps in front of him.

Shuichi opens his mouth lazily and sucks him in. He's done this, it seems to him, a million times and it was never enjoyable. He knew he was an uke by nature, but he despised the taste of semen.

He knows the tricks- where to lick, when to bite. It turns his stomach to hear the man moan. The man doesn't last long, and he isn't surprised. With as many times as this has occurred, he was practically the Yoda of disgusting sex.

The man steps away and takes his pants completely off. Shuichi slips Eiri's coat off and folds it while he waits for the man to undress.

"Where were you going to run off to naked, little angel?" The man asks. He pushes Shuichi gently so that Shuichi is on his back. Shuichi feels his legs being lifted and separated. The feeling was always unnerving.

"I just wanted to get away…" Shuichi mumbles. He feels the man's sloppy lining before he pushes. Shuichi winces and grips the bedspread. Obviously this man has never done this before. At least he was wearing a condom.

The man thrusts into Shuichi's body deeply and groans. He bites his lip and whimpers as the pounding becomes more fierce. It doesn't take the man very long to expel his self.

He is sweating and lay down next to Shuichi. "I've never had a man before," he says. Shuichi just nods. "It's like fucking a virgin." Shuichi scoffs.

"I'm the farthest thing form that, buddy." The man laughs and sits up. Shuichi sits up much slower and begins to get dressed.

The man hands him some money and Shuichi sees him out. He locks the door once the man has left and slides down the wall. He begins to sob.

He cries for his life, for his friends, for Hiro, for his family, his addiction, his love, his body and his dignity. He throws the money and lays his head on his knees. He just defiled himself for what? A lousy hundred dollars? He was going to need more money than that to afford the drugs his body needed.

He looks around, finally noticing that he was the only noise around the house. Eiri is nowhere to be found. He goes back to his room and finds the few items he cherishes and puts Eiri's jacket back on absentmindedly before walking out the front door again.

He walks back to what he used to know as his home sweet home; his flat of cardboard.

He lies down and closes his eyes. For once, he wished that he doesn't wake.

* * *

Eiri comes back from his walk and finds no one in the house. His coat is still gone and Shuichi's room is bare.

He slams his fists into the wall and walks back out the door.

He walks to the park and looks around for the pink haired loser. He remembers finding him once, for Tohma. He goes back down the street and sees someone on the ground.

He walks over and kicks him in the ribs.

Shuichi gasps and curls up.

"What the fuck?" Eiri smirks down at him. "What did I tell you about following rules?"

Shuichi looks confused and sits up. Eiri extends a hand and helps him to his feet.

"You took my coat, Shuichi. I told you, no stealing." Shuichi looks down at the coat that was covering his bare chest.

He pulls the jacket off and drops it at Eiri's feet, but begins shivering almost instantaneously.

Eiri leers at Shuichi's nude top and pushes him against the building to Shuichi's side. He kisses Shuichi hard and licks his neck.

Shuichi pulls Eiri's hair and moans as the warm mouth moves down his throat and the rest of his body.

Eiri pulls his pants off and stands back up. He hands Shuichi the coat and undoes his pants while Shuichi pulls it on.

He pushes Shuichi back against the wall and lifts him so that Shuichi's legs wrap around his waist. He goes back to kissing Shuichi's neck and pushes himself inside.

"Oh Eiri!" Shuichi groans. He holds onto Eiri's shoulders and squeezes his legs. Eiri pounds him hard against the wall and bites his neck.

"Hard Eiri, please!" Shuichi gasps. They kiss deeply and Eiri moves his hand down to Shuichi's cock and rubs it roughly.

"I'm… I'm so, I'm so close Eiri…" Shuichi moans and thrusts back at Eiri.

Eiri moans and cums hard into Shuichi's body. He can feel the wetness of his partner's orgasm on his hand.

He lets Shuichi down onto his feet, but his legs give out and Shuichi falls onto his sore ass. He hisses with pain and gets on his knees.

"Are you coming back home, Shuichi?" Eiri asks, trying not to sound hopeful.

Shuichi nods and gets up on his feet. Eiri helps him put his pants back on before carrying him home.

* * *

Shuichi is lying in bed alone. Eiri had set him down and left without another word.

It had been great sex. The best Shuichi had ever had before, to be honest. Eiri felt similarly, but was more upset about what it meant.

Eiri had never considered himself to be gay before. He considered himself to be business oriented. He didn't care about pleasure enough to seek it in his life. He'd never been interested in any of the women he could easily have. The men, either. He'd just assumed that he was straight like most of the people he knew.

But Shuichi was different. He was in love with Shuichi… and he knew it. The sex had been fantastic. Risky, but fantastic.

He then realizes…. He just had unprotected sex with a gay, male, heroin-addicted prostitute.

And yet, the most mind-blowing part was the 'male'.

* * *

"I need more," Shuichi says. His voice, his tone, his eyes, and his movements- They're all cold and empty. But… his body and his soul and his heart were begging.

"What are you willing to give me? And don't say your body, because I've already got that," Eiri remarks in a snide, yet amused way.

A flash of hurt makes its way across Shuichi's face.

"I haven't got anything else that you would like," Shuichi mumbles.

"How do you know?" Shuichi grits his teeth.

"I've got a photo album, my mom's old hairclip, my cat's old collar, and a Zippo with my favorite band's name carved into it."

Eiri's face doesn't change. "Show me the album and I'll give you more."

Shuichi walks away and returns minutes later.

"Here." He thrusts it out at Eiri.

"You have to tell me about the pictures too."

Shuichi nods and takes the baggy from Eiri and shoots up.

"Who is this?" Eiri asks. He is pointing to a sweet, young little boy.

"That's me. I was six or seven," Shuichi answers semi-consciously.

He points out family members and old friends and pictures of a much happier and healthier him.

When Shuichi passes out Eiri scoops him up and puts him in bed and decides to check his email.

Hiroshi had gotten back to him...

"It's almost his birthday. It was tradition to use pocky instead of candles because he loves pocky and we don't trust him around fire. How is he doing?"

Eiri has an idea. "What is his birthday? Maybe we could set something up to celebrate it? He's not as well as he could be. Perhaps, eventually, he will recover."

* * *

They make plans to meet the next week at a park. It was to be a surprise. Shuichi doesn't mention the upcoming birthday at all.

"Shuichi, I've got a large job for you to do soon." Shuichi just nods.

"I'll be driving you over and back. You are to be on your best behavior and completely obedient." Eiri warns.

Shuichi chuckles. He's heard that before.

"For now, just go hop in the shower. You're starting to smell."

Shuichi grunts. "Will you be joining me?" Shuichi asks.

Eiri nods and leads the way.

He turns the water on and undresses Shuichi slowly. He can see that he's already half hard.

They kiss and make their way under the water. Shuichi notes in his mind, a bit sardonically, that they've never had sex lying down.

Eiri lifts him much as he'd done their first time together. Shuichi wraps his legs around him.

It was true. Shuichi had been in this position many times with many people, including Eiri… and yet it still felt exciting when Eiri did it.

He groans loudly when Eiri pushes into him. Eiri is thrusting and panting into Shuichi's ear. Shuichi is holding on tight and biting Eiri's neck.

"I don't know how you stay so tight Shuichi. You feel so good," Eiri says huskily.

Shuichi climaxes at Eiri's words; Eiri follows moments after.

Eiri scrubs his entire body down and turns the shower off.

* * *

Shuichi's body is trembling, and he knows it's not just from the sex.

"I need some, Eiri," Shuichi says almost pathetically.

Eiri grimaces at him. "No. Not today." He couldn't do that to Hiro.

"Give me my fucking drugs!" Shuichi screams.

Eiri smirks a little. "Oh, you want? Really? You want this?" Eiri taunts.

"Give me!" Shuichi whines.

"I have something else that's good," Eiri says slyly. He knows a way to calm Shuichi down.

"Whatever! Just gimme!" Shuichi yells.

Eiri holds up a bottle of chocolate syrup. "Did you know that chocolate does the same thing to your brain that heroin does? It will have to suffice for now."

"Then give it to me! I need it!"

Eiri sits on his bed and pulls Shuichi to his knees. He undoes his pants and squeezes chocolate onto his cock.

"Suck me," he commands.

Shuichi greedily takes the whole of Eiri in. The icy cold of the chocolate mixing with the fire hot intensity of Shuichi's mouth is god damn orgasmic.

Eiri can't suppress his moans. Shuichi keeps going, licking and sucking the chocolate.

"Open wider," Eiri says. Shuichi opens his mouth and Eiri squirts more chocolate onto his eager tongue. Shuichi laps it up along with Eiri's cum.

"Greedy little whore, aren't we?" Eiri grins. Shuichi dismisses the name and stands.

"I want my drugs," he says with a little more level-mindedness.

Eiri kisses him. "Remember that big job I have for you? I need you sober for it."

Shuichi groans. "I'll die before tonight is over!" Eiri smiles sadly.

"If you're a good boy, I'll give you some early. Go get clean and dressed nicely."

Shuichi stalks from the room and slams his door. He dresses in a borrowed shirt and his jeans. He combs his hair and walks back out.

"You look good. Let's go."

* * *

They get into the car and stop at a park. Shuichi raises an eyebrow but says nothing. Eiri blindfolds Shuichi and walks him to the meeting place.

"How long will this last?" Shuichi whines.

"Shush. It won't take too long."

He sits Shuichi down and begins talking to someone else.

The blindfold is removed and the first thing he sees is… "Hiro!"

Hiro wraps his arms tightly around Shuichi. "Oh Shu! I missed you so much!"

Shuichi is stunned. "H… Hiro?" Hiro is crying and smiling at him. "How did you find me?"

Hiro points at a smiling Eiri. "Happy birthday, Baka." Eiri says. He has never seen Shuichi so happy.

"Come here Shu! It's cake time." Hiro says excitedly. Eiri holds out a cake with pocky sticks on it.

Shuichi begins to cry. "Thank you Hiro. Thank you Eiri." He hugs Hiro tight and then looks at Eiri hesitantly.

Eiri hugs him and kisses him.

* * *

After the picnic Hiro hugs Shu. "Please come back. You can live with me and I'll help you get clean."

Shuichi looks into Hiro's sad eyes. "Hiro, it's not that easy. I need this."

Hiro begins to cry. Shuichi hugs him right and runs out of the park.

Eiri sighs and begins to clean up. Hiro packs stuff back into his car and wipes his eyes.

"Take care of him Eiri," Hiro says softly. Eiri nods sadly at him and thanks him before driving back home.

Shuichi has already used and is lying in his bedroom floor drooling.


	4. Go on believe

Warning: Graphic scenes of noncon featuring Shuichi and background characters, then Shuichi with Eiri.

* * *

Eiri runs his hand through Shuichi's hair. He was drooling again. How could someone so beautiful… this angel… demean himself like this? Shuichi could be a model, because he was so beautiful; A rock star with that voice of his; A teacher, a scholar with how intelligent he was… but he threw it all away.

Eiri grasps Shuichi's hair tight. Shuichi winces in sleep his sleep but doesn't wake. He could make an excellent lover… boyfriend… husband. He was detracting from the world by doing this to himself.

He had once heard that suicide was the most selfish act one could do. That was incorrect. What Shuichi was doing to himself was selfish. If Shuichi were to kill himself, everything would be fine. But continuing this way… that is what was selfish.

He wanted to hurt Shuichi. He wanted Shuichi to feel something, because he feared that Shuichi had never felt anything at all. He let go of Shuichi's hair and made resolve. He goes to his room to rummage through a box of mostly-never used sex toys. He finds restraints, and he smiles. He ties Shuichi up to the bedposts and blindfolds him. He'll wait until Shuichi wakes, and then he will show him what pain is.

He calls some men over. He wouldn't call them friends. Just men he knew would appreciate a good romp, especially if it wasn't so much asked for. He invites them inside and shows them to Shuichi.

"Is he asleep?" One asks. Another pushes him softly "Don't worry. He's a whore, he's young, and he's cute." The man who doesn't care about permission walks up first. He shoves a finger inside of Shuichi, and Shuichi whines.

"What are you doing? Eiri, stop! No, I don't want… don't want this." Shuichi tries to move his wrists to take his blindfold off, but finds himself chained to the bed. "Eiri? Stop! I said no!" The man pulls his fingers out. "I'm not Eiri, sunshine, and you're in no position to decline."

The man grabs Shuichi's hips, but his bondage provides very little room to move. He pushes in without concern. Shuichi screams and flails.

"Stop! I said stop!" The man moves in and out, groaning at the sensation. He uses his fingernails to dig into Shuichi's skin.

Eiri watches this man defile his whore, but it hurts him. He's not happy; he doesn't feel like everything is okay. He feels disgusting for bring onto Shuichi what was once put onto him.

"Alright, you're done. Fun time is over. Leave your money on the desk and get out." The man grunts, having just come on Shuichi's bottom and tummy. He leaves money on the table and thanks Eiri. The next man, having followed the whole way with his hands, leaves a few dollars too.

Eiri pulls the blindfold off Shuichi, but his little lover's eyes are closed. He's shaking terribly and sobbing. Eiri feels like crying as well. He undoes the cuffs and watches Shuichi curl up. He hides in face and holds his stomach. "Shuichi…" Shuichi is bleeding where the man dug his nails in… and where the man raped him.

Eiri goes to the bathroom to wet a rag and begins to wipe up the other man's messes. Shuichi is shaking violently. Eiri can feel a fever on his skin. Eiri cleans him and puts a bandage over his bleeding hip.

"D…. don't… don't touch me" Shuichi says as legibly as he can. Eiri grasps Shuichi's arms and holds him down.

"You're a whore; you have no say over who gets to touch you. Didn't you just learn that? Do you need another lesson?" Eiri lets go and begins to unbutton his pants.

"No, please! Please…" Shuichi cries.

"I won't say I again Shuichi." Eiri flips him and holds him down on his stomach. Shuichi doesn't fight. He doesn't move or speak. He cries; his finger nails constantly gripping the sheets. When Eiri finishes, he expels inside of Shuichi.

"You're loose," he comments, holding Shuichi's chin and looking into his eyes. "You're disgusting. You're nothing but a cheap little slut, and you'll never be anything more than that."

Shuichi can't look away from Eiri. Eiri squeezes his face until Shuichi closes his eyes from the pain. Eiri wraps his hands around Shuichi's neck and holds him tight. Shuichi tries to gasp and fight Eiri off, but he's no match for him.

Eiri finally lets go and shoves Shuichi onto his side before walking out of the room and slamming the door. Shuichi gasps for breath, coughing and crying still.

He gets out of bed as carefully as he can and locks the bedroom door. He limps into the bathroom, locking the door behind him, and lies in the tub. He uses a towel as a pillow and tries to go to sleep.

He thinks about what just happened- The aching in his back and his lower half; the aching of his heart. Eiri was right about everything he said. Shuichi was disgusting. He was a whore so he didn't have to go anyone permission to touch him as long as they paid him. He wasn't even allowed to tell people no anymore, because he was not worth those basic human rights.

People say that once you are an alcoholic, you'll always be one- Even if you stop drinking. So, even if Shuichi stopped his prostitution and, God forbid, his drug use- he would still be a user, a whore… worthless.

His head hurt terribly, he wished he had something to take the pain away. He tried to relax his body, stop his crying. He cuddles with the towel, smelling his wonderful fabric softeners working. He falls asleep, finally, and hopes so much not to wake.

* * *

Eiri sits in the living room and thinks about what he just did. He allowed someone to rape the person he cared most about. He then raped the person he cares most about. The things he said… the hurt he inflicted. Shuchi looked like he really thought Eiri would choke him to death.

The reaction he got from that wasn't what he thought he would get at all. When Yuki did this to him, he looked like he enjoyed it a lot more. Yuki had even been able to get off whilst allowing one of the men to rape him. He hadn't been turned on at all by what he saw. He wanted to kill those men, to ask them how they could defile such an angel.

But then, he went even a step further than Yuki had. He, himself, had raped the angel. He berated him, telling him all the things he knew would hurt him. His plan had not turned out well at all.

But it was also Shuichi's reaction that had stunned him. Being a whore, sleeping with countless nameless men- he thought Shuichi would take it in stride. He instead acted like a virgin being raped in an alley. Perhaps that was the difference. He wanted to comfort Shuichi until he told Eiri not to touch him.

Eiri grinds his teeth. How dare that little whore. After making Eiri think he cared about him, telling him not to touch him? Eiri owned and he would be damned if he let his pet talk to him like that! He hears Shuichi shut the bathroom door, but doesn't worry. There was nothing in there for him to hurt himself on, get high with, or escape with. He was sure he was just doing it to be as far from Eiri as possible.

And why had he choked him? Eiri couldn't be sure, but he couldn't control it sometimes. No one would miss him. No one would notice at all, in fact. The house would just be quieter and Eiri would not have accessible sex whenever he wanted it. Eiri was the only one who knew he existed, so it was perfectly fine if Eiri was the one to get rid of him.

But deep inside, Eiri knew he felt for the boy. That's why it hurt him to see Shuichi so fucked up. That's why Shuichi drove him crazy with the passions of a mad-man in love. And that was what he was, after all. Perhaps he would give Shuichi some time… give himself some time. He knew Shuichi would want to shoot-up soon. He would caress the neck he had only a few moments go held in his hands. Kiss the lips he had watched scream for help.

There was nothing Shuichi could do about it, because he was a slave to his addiction, his master. As far as Eiri was concerned, he was the master and the drugs were only an extension of his self; only the rope that bound Shuichi to him.

* * *

Please review and let me know what you think.


	5. Reverend Revolution

Shuichi wakes on top of his bed. Eiri's arm is wrapped around his torso. Eiri is rubbing his hand softly upon Shuchi's stomach. Shuichi stills his movement, tries to control his breathing.

"I know you're awake." Eiri says. His hand never stills. Shuichi does not respond. He is trying to think about what he should do. How to get out of what he knows is going to end up being a violent, bad situation.

"I know I hurt you, Shuichi. You just drive me crazy. I wanted to know that something mattered to you; that you mattered to you. You're wasting your life like this, and it… I couldn't handle it Shuichi." Eiri kisses the back of his neck.

Shuichi bites his lips to keep from crying, but cannot hold it in with the kiss. He begins to cry and Eiri tightens his hold. "I want to make it up to you, Shuichi. I'm going to increase your amount. Anything, just let me make it up to you." He moves his hand up ward and caresses Shuichi's chest before moving it down, into the young man's pants.

He pumps Shuichi's member, but gets no positive response. He unzips his own pants, Shuichi turns and backs away from him. "Please, please don't. " Shuichi begs. Eiri pets him softly. "Use your mouth Shuichi. Show me you forgive me."

Shuichi would never forgive him. He drops to his knees. "Show me, Shuichi." Shuichi hangs his head.

"I can't forgive that Eiri." Shuichi says sadly. "I can't forgive you for doing that to me."

Eiri grips his hair and thrusts into his mouth. "I know you forgive me Shuichi. You love me, and no matter what I do to you, you will always come back to me." Shuichi bites down and Eiri pulls him off. "You stupid whore!" He yells. Shuichi gets up as fast as he can and runs out of the house.

* * *

Shuichi is not crying. He has cum and saliva on his face.

"Son, are you in a bad situation?" Shuichi hears someone ask. He looks over at a man, dressed in a priests outfit.

"Don't worry about it, father," Shuichi says. The man puts a hand on Shuichi's shoulder.

"I can help you, if you give me a chance." Shuichi is taken aback. He doesn't take the man's hand off of him.

"Father, I'm a prostitute." Shuichi says. The man smiles and responses. "I had guessed, young man."

"I'm a lost cause." Shuichi says, about to cry again. The man embraces him. "I can bring you to my home, with the other church members. We make dinner and eat together and then we read. I invite you to join, young man."

Shuichi nods his head, blinking back the tears. "I'm Shuichi." He smiles. "I'm Maurice."

"First, we will get you bathed and changed. Come along." The man leads Shuichi back to a modest looking building. Shuichi can easily tell that it's a church. Behind the church there are little buildings where other priests and nuns and religious fellows were mingling.

He leads Shuichi into the second building. It's empty of people, but there are books and other little object decorating the house. There are two beds, a stove and many book shelves. The father leads Shuichi into the bathroom.

The man begins running a bath and leaves, but doesn't shut the door. Shuichi stands, trying to take up as little of this clean, holy space as possible with his disgustingness.

The man returns with some clothing that looks a little too large for Shuichi's frame.

"These are the smallest that I can find. I can sew them to fit better after dinner tonight." Shuichi is astounded. "Don't worry, father. It's not a problem. You don't have to do anything for me." Shuichi says, feeling uncomfortable with how nice this man is being to him.

The father only smiles. "Now, get undressed." He says. Shuichi blushes. Does the father want him to undress in front of him?

"Are you embarrassed? I can look away until you get inside. I just hadn't pegged you as someone who would be so shy." Shuichi nods softly and the father looks away. He undresses slowly but gets into the bath as quickly as he can. The father looks up at this point and gets onto his knees on the floor.

He grabs a sponge and begins to wash Shuichi's back. "Why were you running through the streets almost naked, little lamb?"

Shuichi leans his head onto his knees. "I had a bad night…" Shuichi answers quietly. The father rinses his back and moves to his arm. "What was bad?" The father asks. Shuichi feels tears flowing. "I was… they r… raped me…" he cries. The father wipes his face. "Whom, little lamb?" He sniffles. "I don't know. I was blindfolded by my dealer. And then he asked me to forgive him today and tried to force me to… and I bite him and ran." Shuichi looks at the priest. "If he finds me, he will kill me."

The father begins to gently wipe his face. "We will take care of you, son."

After Shuichi dresses in clothes that are a few sizes too large, they go to the kitchen to help prepare food.

"Father Maurice, who is this?" One of the other priests ask. The father smiles. "This is Shuichi. He's going to be staying with me for a while." The other fathers go about their business; some snort in his direction. Shuichi helps Father Maurice prepare the vegetables.

"Here little lamb- chop these and then put them into the bowl to your right. We're in charge of the salad."

Shuichi smiles while he helps prepare food. They peel lettuce together and put the bowl on the table.

During dinner Shuichi notices, sadly, that no one but Maurice and himself eats the salad. Others look at it wearily.

They return to the kitchen together after eating dinner and begin to wash dishes. The father scrubs them and Shuichi dries them and puts them away.

"You're a great helper, Shuichi." The father says as he dries his hands. Shuichi smiles at him. "That felt so normal! It was great!" They walk out of the kitchen, eyes watching their every move, and into the father's dwelling.

Shuichi sits on one of the beds and bounces on it. "I don't think the other members of the church appreciate my being here, father." Shuichi says. The father sits on the bed opposite of Shuichi and sighs. "No, I suppose not. I don't think they understand what it's like to be someone like you or someone like me, who cares about someone like you." Shuichi stops bouncing and looks down at his shoes. "They're right to look down on me. I'm not a contributing member of society."

The father sits next to Shuichi and wraps an arm around him. "You're a person, and that's all that matters. You're a good person. We all have our flaws."

Shuichi looks into the father's eyes. "Father, why are you helping me?" Shuichi asks, sadly.

The father leans forward and kisses Shuichi softly on the lips. Shuichi stills himself, not expecting this.

The father looks him in the eyes, almost sadly. "You remind me of a man I once loved and lost." Shuichi touches his lips softly. "I was in love, once, as a young man. He was my neighbor… he was also in seminary school with me. We both came to the conclusion that lying was worse than homosexuality. We were together for over three years. We used to pick up prostitutes and direct them to rehabs that would help them. He became really attached to one of the young men we were helping. They began to spend time together alone and this young man talked him into trying heroin. He told him it would help him see what the people we helped were going through. He became addicted. He wouldn't go to rehab. He eventually decided he'd rather live in the streets; outside of the church and without me." The father is crying and Shuichi wipes his tears away.

"You look just like him, Little Lamb. I'm sorry… I shouldn't have kissed you. It's unethical, but just looking at you makes me miss him so much."

Shuichi is crying as well, now. "Father… I don't mind." The father kisses him again and Shuichi kisses back. The father nudges him down onto the bed and Shuichi lets him lead. The father slowly raises Shuichi shirts, but doesn't end the kiss.

He feels the father harden and spreads his legs wider. Shuichi feels need course through his body, but not for sex. It's been too long since the last time he used. The father kisses his neck and Shuichi gasps when he bites.

"F… Father. I need… I use, and I need more." Shuichi whines.

The father looks into his eyes. "Stay with me, Shuichi. I will help you overcome your addiction. I will love you like no one else can."

Shuichi's eyes widen at the prospect. How would it be to live drug-free again; to live with this man who took him in during a moment of need?

"It's going to hurt." Shuichi answers softly. The father kisses his forehead. "I will stay with you, Shuichi. I will hold you and feed you and bath you until you're done."

Shuichi closes his eyes tight. "I will stay, father."

His body was already hurting and it could only get worse. The father runs his fingers through Shuichi's hair. "When did you last use?" Shuichi is crying pitifully. "Last night." The father lowers himself and takes Shuichi's pants off. He begins to tongue Shuichi's member until it becomes hard. He gives him oral sex in the hopes of distracting him from his pain.

Shuichi moans loudly, the mixture of pleasure with his body's distress was too much. "Father! Ohh, God, father!" Shuichi writhes and tugs at his hair. Shuichi's eyes roll back and he whimpers as he expels into the fathers mouth.

The father looks up at Shuichi. Shuichi's eyes are closed tight and his hands are fisting the sheets. "Father, please…" Shuichi begs. He pulls the father into his arms. "Hold me… hold me or I'll be too tempted to run away."

The father wraps his arms around Shuichi and whispers into his ear while Shuichi cries.

* * *

For the first time in over a week Shuichi leaves the Father's room.

The father brings him to the kitchen for some lunch. They make soup together and Shuchi tries to control his trembling. "Thank you so much, father, for everything you're doing."

He knows he looks like a complete mess. He watches the smiling man he'd been living with for the past week as he stirs the pot. Things had not turned even slightly sexual since the first day. Shuichi had problem sleeping with this man.

He just felt bad. He felt like he was aiding in the pain this man felt. And he knew that, deep down, he was in love with Eiri, no matter how bad he had hurt him.

Father Maurice turns and wipes the hair from Shuichi's face. "Do you think you could eat a whole bowl?" Shuichi smiles and nods. He helps the father carry the bowls to the table inside of the hall where the other church officials ate.

Shuichi noticed that the other members eyed him with disgust. They whispered and pointed and it made Shuichi uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry father… I don't think I'm hungry." Shuichi says quietly. The father looks up at him with concern. "You have not yet eaten at all, little lamb." Shuichi wipes his eyes. Maurice looks around at the people that are staring at them.

"Do not worry about them, Shuichi." He grabs on of Shuichi's hands into his and gives it a gentle squeeze. "We are children of God. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding."

Shuichi smiles and begins eating his food, ignoring the remarks around him. Ignoring the way people were staring. He focused on the man that was holding his hand and the soup he had made.


	6. Circle of Life

Shuichi stays with the priest happily. They cook and clean and read together during the day and sleep together at night.

There are two beds, but Shuichi isn't comfortable sleeping alone. Not here; not now.

He slips into the father's bed and relaxes as he feels arms surround him. He kisses him slowly, softly. Then they go to sleep for the night.

* * *

The other fathers in the church are still hesitant. They do not welcome Shuichi easily. They even ask them not to make food for dinner anymore.

Shuichi becomes depressed, though. Depressed by all of the forces and negativity around him. "Father, why do you remain here?" He asks Maurice. He receives a smile in return. "This is all I've ever known, Shuichi. I am an old man."

Slowly, however, they branch out. Instead of staying inside of Maurice's room they go see movies, have fun. He asks Shuichi, despite all the oddities between them, if he will be his.

Shuichi wants to cry. He agrees.

They take this time to become closer. As they have been asked not to cook, they offer to clean the dishes, and are allowed.

It take a few hours each night, but the father scrubs them clean and Shuichi dries them and puts them away. They talk and joke and flirt while performing their tasks. This leads them to going back home each night soaked.

They come into the house and undress from their clothing and hang it to dry. They crawl into bed nude, and depending on their mood either goes to sleep, or spend the night embracing each other and becoming one.

* * *

Shuichi is lying in Maurice's bed. The father is in the bathroom and Shuichi is okay with just being lazy. He yawns and cuddles back onto the bed. The front door opens and a different father that Shuichi recognizes comes in.

Shuichi sits up, mindlessly pulling the sheet up to cover his nude body. The father looks at him disgustedly. More of the men come into the house and barge into the bathroom to grab Maurice. Shuichi gets up and begins dressing himself quickly when two of the fathers grab him.

They drag the two men out into the open space between the houses and the church. Maurice and Shuichi exchange terrified glances. They're dragged to twin poles in the yard.

They're both tied to their own poles, though they're struggling. The father that had first entered the room walks in front of them.

"You are both disgusting. Did you know that what you are doing is wrong? Did you know that you're going against God?" He shouts at them.

They look at each other. Shuichi is crying, but Maurice looks strong.

"God does not deny love. Shuichi and I are in love." The priest kicks Maurice; Shuichi screams at him to stop.

"We've decided to punish you accordingly." The priest says. They dump a bottle of disgusting smelling liquid on Maurice and untie Shuichi.

The priest bends him over a piece of furniture that they have outside. "Leave Shuichi alone!" Maurice yells.

"He is just a young man. A lost soul. You were a priest. There was more expected of you." He answers. He lowers his pants and pushes himself into Shuichi. Maurice tries to break free, but can't get out.

Shuichi cries and tries to fight the other man off. He is in too much pain to notice, as Maurice is too worried about Shuichi to notice, that they have brought a torch.

Shuichi watches them step forward and light Maurice on fire. Maurice doesn't scream. He closes his eyes and tries to fight.

Shuichi no longer feels the man inside of him. He watches in agony as Maurice is being burned alive. He hears the the voice screaming in pain that he usually only heard in pleasure.

He closes his eyes and lays his head down. He doesn't want to live. He hopes that he is next. The next thing he sees is that he's on the ground. Maurice is a pile of ash and debris. The other priests have begun cleaning and he is lying alone only feet away from his dead lover.

He is ushered up and dragged to the gate and thrown out. He it on the side walk and stares off. This was all real… This just happened… Maurice was dead…

A car pulls up just a few moments later. Two large men get out and Shuichi looks up at them. They grab him and he does not struggle. They put him in the back of the car. Shuichi see the head priest come out and accept money from them before they get back into the car and leave.

* * *

He doesn't know where they are headed. He closes his eyes and lays down in the backseat.

"Why do we have this kid?" One of the men asks. "This was Tohma's lap dog. He'll pay anything to get him back." A different voice responds. Shuichi was Tohma's lap dog?

"What the fuck was he doing with a bunch of priests?" The first man asks. He doesn't hear anything after that. The car stops and he's yanked out of the car.

The man knocks on the door as Shuichi stands hesitantly and is startled when a different man answers. "Can I help you?" He asks vaguely and without opening the door any more than he had to.

"This is Shuichi Shindou." The man looks confused, but then smiles. "Of course. Well, come in dear. I'll show you to your room."

He opens the door, nothing seems out of place. He follows the man back to a room and gasps when he's thrown onto a bed and held down. He fights but the man handcuffs him to the bed by his wrists and ankles. He puts a ball-gag in his mouth and blindfolds him.

"I'll be back every once in a while to check on you. Don't go anywhere, sweetheart." Shuichi cannot breathe through his mouth and is panicking too much to concentrate with his nose. He wriggles and cries desperately. Eventually he becomes light headed and has to space his breathing.

The only thing that he can do is count his breath and listen for any sign of humanity around him. He can see nothing around him, not light or shape, because of the blindfold. The slack of his chains is little.

After hours of laying there his throat is dry and his limbs are sore. He hears someone enter and his body becomes tense. "How long has he been like this?" He hears someone ask. He recognizes the voice as being that of the man from earlier.

"He's been like this for about three hours." Shuichi feels someone sit beside him. The person next to him takes the gag out of his mouth and he gulps in some air. "Do you want some water, Sunshine?" Shuichi nods his head. He doesn't think he can speak like this.

The man drips water into his mouth, but it isn't enough. He pushes a finger that was dipped in water into Shuichi's mouth. Shuichi sucks it to get the water off. The man's skin is salty, but he welcomes the moisture regardless. The man continues this treatment, one finger at a time. Shuichi whines for more, but the man replaces the gag.

"You're completely helpless; another gullible whore." He hears the men walk away and the door closes. He relishes the soft taste of water left in his mouth. It's only a short time later that the door opens again. "How do you want him?" He hears the first man ask. "Can you put him on his stomach?" He asks. Shuichi begins to tremble. "Do you want him dressed or not? You're his first, so it's up to you."

The man smiles. "Dressed. It'll be like receiving a gift." One of the men grabs a hold on Shuichi's face. "Listen to me. I'm going to unchain you and then you're going to be a good boy and lay on your stomach. Maybe, if you can listen, I'll let you have some water when you're done."

Shuichi whimpers and the man unchains him. He springs up, but the man holds him down. The freedom of movement in his arms hurts. He cries out and the man holds him by the neck. "You want to fight me?" He feels the man clip something over his nose. He can't breathe. The man is still holding him down.

"Are you going to obey?" The man asks. Shuichi nods his head. He unclips his nose and Shuichi gets a little air. He slowly rises, but keeps his body near the bed so the man will know he's not trying to escape. He slowly turns onto his belly and raises his arms while spreading his legs.

The man pets Shuichi and chains him up. The man walks away. "You look delicious." A voice he's never heard before says. He wants to shrink, but he's spread wide open. The man runs his hands along Shuichi's body- mapping him.

He listens as the man digs around the room. He hadn't gotten to see the room well, so he didn't know what the man could be finding. The room is completely silent when he feels a sharp sting along his back. He tries to scream, but the gag does not allow it. He feels it again, this time hearing the "whoosh" sound that accompanied it. The man was whipping him.

He tries to move away, knowing that he can't. The man continues to whip him, not slowing down at all. Shuichi has never been in this much pain. The man lifts his shirt. "It tore your shirt so much that I can pull it right off. This truly is like unwrapping a gift."

Shuichi is shaking. He's losing blood- he can feel it. The man's fingers begin to probe the injuries he's just inflicted. Shuichi bites down on the gag and screams to the best of his ability. He feels the man begin to lick his back- his saliva burns.

The man stops and moves away; Shuichi tenses and doesn't know what to expect. He hears the man digging around some more. Shuichi is still crying. The blindfold is rubbing against his wet skin and making it burn.

"This is something I've always wanted to try…" he hears the man say. He removes Shuichi's pants and inserts something very small into him. "You're not a virgin, are you?" He asks, more to himself than to Shuichi. He pulls it out and inserts something much larger.

Shuichi gasps and wants to tighten so that it can't be inserted, but he knows that it will hurt less if he relaxes. The man pulls it out and Shuichi hears him unzip his pants. "I've never went in dry."

The man pushes inside and Shuichi screams. The man rams into him unmercifully. The door opens and he hears another man speaking. "Your turn is over."

He feels the man pull out and just tries to breath. He can't recall anything after that.

* * *

He wakes with a gasp. Everything is dark again. He struggles to move, but finds that he's free. He sits up and looks around the room. This was the room Eiri had given him.

He gets up and staggers out of the room. Eiri and Tohma are sitting in the kitchen. They both get up and go to him. "Shuichi, you need to lie back down." Shuichi ignores the pain in his body. He needs something to drink.

"Please…" he asks softly. It hurts to speak. Eiri looks at him questioningly. Tohma gets a glass of water and Shuichi drinks it greedily. Eiri guides him back to bed. "How did you find me?" Shuichi asks weakly. Eiri kisses him softly. "I'll always find you."

Shuichi curls up on his stomach and falls asleep. Eiri looks at his back sadly. He had been tortured. There was no way Shuichi could continue this life.

Eiri grabs a rag and dabs at the wounds softly. They had stopped bleeding after they had gotten back home. His tongue was bleeding; the sides of his mouth were bloody. His lips were chapped and dry.

Tohma comes in and gives Eiri some ointment. "He's going to need to be bandaged." Eiri nods. He feels guilty. This is all his fault.

"When he's healed… "Eiri begins, "I'm going to suggest he move to his friend's house. I'm not going to let him use while he's healing. He'll be detoxed by the time he leaves." Tohma nods. He knows that Shuichi means more to Eiri than just a user. Eiri is in love with him.

What Eiri is unaware of is that Shuichi had already detoxed. That the only drugs in his veins now were the ones forced on him.

* * *

Shuichi shivers. His flesh feels frozen. He cannot stand to have anything touch his back, for it hurts now more than when he first received them. But it's better... He assumes... thank the heat that... No, he can't think of it.

The only contact he's been able to handle is Eiri's soft cleaning. The way he drapes warm cloth soothes them. Eiri has been fast asleep in the chair next to his bed for a long time. He had no idea what Shuichi had been wake for the gentle treatment.

He brings the blanket round his sides and huddles close to himself. Eiri wakes when he hears the boy rustling around. He's not sure if it's fever or want that is causing the boy to shake. "Are you awake?" Eiri asks. Shuichi nods, finally becoming frustrated and pulling the blanket atop him. He clenches his teeth and waits for his body to become used to it.

Eiri removes the blanket from his back. "Let me get a rag." Eiri wipes the boy's back softly and watches him relax. "Are you cold? I can get you something warm to drink. We'll find a way for you to get covered up. Tohma says that bandaging you will keep them from hurting when things touch your skin. It will keep infection out too. I couldn't do it earlier because you were so out of it."

Shuichi sniffles. "Eiri… I want to use. It just hurts so much… Please?" Eiri hadn't wanted to let him… but Shuichi _was_ in a lot of pain. He gives Shuichi a baggie continues wrapping his wounds. He watches Shuichi shoot up.

When Shuichi lies back Eiri grabs his hand. "I'm sorry Shuichi. I missed you." Shuichi smiles slightly, for the first time all day. "I've learned forgiveness. I forgive you."

Eiri leaves to let him rest and goes back to sit with Tohma.

* * *

He comes to check on Shuichi later but finds that Shuichi isn't moving. He checks Shuichi's breathing and his pulse.

"Shit!" He yells. Tohma runs into the room. Eiri is sobbing. "He's fucking dead Tohma. He's fucking dead!" Tohma looks at the angel. He's pale, thin. There is vomit on his lips.

"He over-dosed. How much did you give him?" Eiri runs his hands through his hair. "He asked for a hit! I gave him as much as I always have."

Tohma kisses the dead angel on the forehead and turns to Eiri. "I think he may have detoxed while he was away… His body… It wasn't as used to it anymore." Eiri stands and pulls Shuichi into an embrace.

"What the hell do we do?" Eiri asks. He's losing it, he can tell. Tohma sighs. He never wanted to lose Shuichi.

"We dump his body somewhere that it will be found." Eiri wipes his face. "His box. That's where he liked to be." Tohma knows what Eiri is talking about.

It was often, in the past, that Tohma would want to see Shuichi. He would put on his favorite hat and take a well-known walk down the alley. There would be a tiny man with pink hair lying atop a box. He would be drooling or daydreaming, always. This man had been his once.

They load Shuichi into the car and lay him on the box. Eiri covers the boy up with a blanket. He looks like he's merely sleeping, but Eiri knew better.

They leave the scene and go back to the house. Tohma has a minion of his go to a pay phone and call 911, just so that he was sure the boy would be found soon and buried. Hiroshi would be informed as next of kin; Eiri had left a note in the pinkette's wallet, guised as Shuichi's own handwriting that included Hiro's phone number and address, along with a simple title of "Best Friend's number".

Eiri looks at Tohma with a deep sorrow in his eyes. "I want to try it. I want what killed him." Tohma sighs softly and hands Eiri a needle.

Eiri looks at the equipment skeptically before looking back at Tohma. "I don't have any money…"

"No matter," Tohma says sadly as he walks slowly in front of Eiri. "There's another way."

* * *

Thanks to everyone that supported this story and stayed with it. I'm not going to post any individual things because I'm lazy and tired. But I do appreciate everyone that was there for this story.


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